No One Looks Back on their Life and Remembers the Nights they got Plenty of Sleep

Tomorrow brings my last exam of my second year at university, and the first day of my 4 month summer,  This exam period as been SO tough, and so I am so excited to be able to take a few days to chill out, do fun things, and not have to worry about being sat inside revising.  However, I am then faced with 4 months where quite frankly, I don't have much to do.  My original summer plan unfortunately fell through, meaning i didn't apply for any internships/work experience so don't have anything like that lined up.  I then realized that this will probably be my last ever 'proper' summer holidays, as hopefully next year I will be graduating and then becoming a real adult (cry).  Therefore I have decided that this summer is for fun, and doing whatever I want to do.  I'm not going to worry about money and I'm not going to let other people let me down, this summer is about me being a little bit selfish.  I already have a few plans, so I'm going to do everything I can to make sure they go ahead, as well as a little bit of spontaneity and just having fun.  My aim for this summer is earn experiences, see new places, meet new people and make memories I'll remember for ever, and as they say, no one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.

Not Every Princess Needs A Prince

I have these days were I LOVE being single, I feel free, ambitious, and I can have as much fun on a night out as I wish, these are the days were I listen to my head and I tell myself that everything happens for a reason and one day I will find the right person for me.  Then I have these days (like today) when my heart screams louder than my head could ever speak, and I spend the day lying in bed crying about how single I am and telling myself that however hard I try, this is my life and I might as well learn to like cats because I have to other option.

On these heart felt 'I'm going to be single forever' days, I spend my hours swiping through tinder, looking through #couplegoals on Insta, and pinning motivational quotes which supposedly help for a few seconds, however then get overwritten by my aching heart.  I question why that boy I once was texting doesn't text me anymore, and why that guy never wanted a second date, and I blame it all on myself, it must be my fault, I must be the problem here, I need to change.

But I've suddenly realized that this is not the case, I don't want to be someone I'm not just to make somebody else happy.  I will never be happy if I'm not myself, in the words of Hailee Steinfield 'I'm gonna love myself, I don't need anybody else!'  I'm starting to realize that I don't need somebody else to make me happy, in most cases boys just make you feel worse about yourself, and when you do find someone who makes you feel better than you feel when you're alone, then you know you've got a keeper.

Being a girl nearing her twenties, you get asked the same question over and over again, family gatherings, catch ups with friends, even by the old lady in the post office 'so hows the love life?', 'have you found yourself a nice young man yet?' 'oh look at you, you must have all the boys chasing after you'.  But why is this so important, why is there such a high expectation to for teenage girls to be in a relationship.  And this expectation almost leads people to feeling guilty about being single, which is ludicrous. 

These girls who stand up for themselves, who allow themselves to be single until they find the right person and don't just jump into bed with the first guy they see on a night out are almost seen as weak, they are pittied for being single, instead of respected for being strong.  These are the girls, who one day will realize that all that waiting has been worth it, and there hearts will be so much stronger because of it, because they protected them and didn't allow it to constantly be smashed and glued back together, with pieces of the jigsaw missing each time.

You will one day live your happy ever after, but don't waste your hours waiting on those who don't bring you happiness, you deserve someone who makes you feel like Cinderella at the ball. 

But also remember that being in a relationship does not define you.  You do not need a significant other to be happy and don't let anyone ever try to tell you otherwise.

So I'm going to leave you with my favourite quote, one that might help you on those days where your heart takes over and your head can't tell it no...

What to say...

So, its a Friday night in July and I have nothing else to do apart from watch 'Celebrity Masterchef ' and constantly refresh my Instagram feed.  So why not start a blog, something I have wanted to do for a very long time but have kept putting off. But, as part of my new summer resolution (is that a thing?) of just biting the bullet and doing new things, a thing which in this century can be described using the expression 'YOLO' (an acronym that quite frankly, I'm not cool enough to use without sounding like your drunk auntie at a wedding) here i am starting this blog.

However I am now faced with an issue, I have started typing this post in an urge of excitement and to be honest I have no idea what this blog is going to be about. Okay, so where do I start...maybe I'll tell you a bit about me and then maybe we can figure out what this blog will behold...it can be a nice surprise for us all.

So my name is Antonia, I'm 19 years old (yet still fail to accept I ever got older than about age 12) and I am a university student in Southampton.  Southampton is a funny place, it is on the coast, yet there is no beach, something that confuses me on a daily basis, along with the extensive one-way systems, but maybe that is for another blog post.  I am a science student, so inevitably I'm a bit of a geek but hopefully you will forgive this once you get past the fact I spend a large amount of time in a lab coat and safety specs and meet my 'cooler side'. (That def just lost me some cool points)  I am also a cheerleader for my University's cheer team.  Its not the kind of cheer-leading you probably expect, with pom poms and chants, but a competitive sport which requires a lot of training, but maybe this is something else I can explain in a later post, as its something I could talk about for days.  I spend most of my spare time eating, watching girly films, pinning pictures of eye make up and Nike shoes on Pinterest and then probably eating some more.  Thrilling...

So hopefully this post has given you a little insight into what I'm about, and maybe by the time you read this there will be another post, but maybe there wont be...so who knows.

But for now this is me, just a girl and her screen... and I will speak to you soon xxx